Posted on December 08 2020
Happy humans = more treats and longer walks, trust Karlz on this. One of the top things that seems to make humans happy is drinking in bars with other humans (the second is eating at restaurants and pubs). For the purposes of this piece, all establishments that serve both alcohol and food are treated the same and referred to as pubs/bars/establishments.
Now, not all bars are created equally – some of them do NOT allow hounds in.. This is obviously a travesty, and of these establishments we shall not speak. We shall instead, speak of the establishments that allow hounds AND humans in. You can take your human to these fantastic places and be assured of a place at (or under) the table for yourself (or under the table for your humans, based on how much they drink).
Here is a list of my Top 5 hound + human drinking holes – ratings are based on a few factors: the quality of chippies, the quality of surroundings (with attention paid to the prospect of finding a cute father for me) and the wine list.
The one. The only. This place has our heart – it even hosted my 6th birthday party complete with enchanted fairyland hedgehog cake. They allow hounds inside in air-conditioned comfort (so important for us black dogs!), have a snazzy little wine and other-forms-of-booze list featuring some local Victorian brewers. They partner up with a local restaurant to provide eats (Kelso’s at present, we miss the pizzas from Little Rita’s though).
A nice chill place for weekend hangs with friends, or pumping music for a later night. The bartenders are lovely and kind and cleaned up after me (Karla, not ma) without demur when I did a puky on the floor.
Good chips with gravy, hot men. What more could you want?
> Northside Wines | 543-545 High St, Northcote
A later addition to our life, but one that has crept firmly into our hearts. Dogs allowed out the front and in the covered wine garden at the back. I even snuck inside once for a meal on the night before the great COVID lockdown 1.0 of 2020 and Ma fed me steak. Best night of my life.
They have an excellent velvet couch for hounds and are very welcoming to us. Ma says that they will be hosting my 7th birthday party (they don’t know yet). BEST CHIPPIES WITH AIOLI and nice pizza bones – Ma says they have a fabulous wine list and human menu too and a great little bottleshop with some unique drops (+ wine tasting packs from their partner business, miscwines!). Also, they kept many people on international visas in jobs during the great COVID-lockdown. Go, NW team.
A fabulous place to spend a Sunday afternoon with friends, or a later night. Oh! And they also have their own snoot: @handsome_hodge!
> Yarra Hotel | 295 Johnston Street Abbotsford
A quirky little old-fashioned pub, with some very good pub-grub (and a nice vegan selection). Good tunes, a rock-and-roll indoors (complete with a ripped velvet couch) and best of all – a massive undercover beer garden with a fire (!) for cold days. Ma says a decent wine list – but she would head to Northside wines/Annie Lewis if she was specifically after some top-quality or interesting drops – the wine here is reasonable with some good selections by the glass or bottle.
The hounds love the baskets of chips (BIG!) and Parmas (Andy has been known to snatch one off a plate once tsk!). A good little Saturday arvo spot. It does get busy later at night and some people bring yappy little dogs (y tho?) so maybe not a spot for the more nervous or reactive hound later on a weekend night (I just sleep).
> Annie Lewis Winehouse | 138 Bridge Rd, Richmond
An excellent wine bar. Some truly fabulous and very unique top-shelf drops (but also a range of more affordable wines). They probably also do other types of alcohol but ma mostly drinks wine and hasn’t looked too far through the menu. They welcome dogs inside and have placed us in a corner before to keep dogs safely away from the main thoroughfare.
No kitchen on-site but you can order in UberEATS (your human will know what that means). Or they do a mean cheese plate. Soft music, dim lighting, a great place for a date or a casual evening with friends. We have only been here a small handful of times, with friends and once on an ill-fated date (ill-fated for him because he disappeared shortly after the date and Ma says he surely must have died) but we plan to visit more often this summer! Disappointingly no chippies on the menu here.
Welcome to Thornbury | 520 High St, Northcote +
Welcome to Brunswick | 1 Frith St, Brunswick
Food truck parks with attached bars. And back in the beforetimes (Pre-COVID), they hosted some truly excellent themed festivals (Ma disgraced herself spectacularly when on the rosé package at the Basic Bitch Festival). A large outdoors area, fans and water bowls for dogs and lots of food options from their rotating rota. Buy wines by the glass or bottle and lots of beers (and some cocktails!) on tap. Ma loves their pitchers of sangria (she says the white wine sangria is especially delightful). Easy to book and large enough that you will usually find a spot (though we usually go early for themed events to find a quieter space for the hounds).
WTT has our heart (we have spent more time there) but we are prepared to be won over by WTB. Lots of cute boys, but no carpet for hound bums.
• The Rainbow | 27 St David St, Fitzroy
• The National | 344 Victoria St, Richmond
• Moon Dog Brewery (Abbotsford and Preston)
• Great Northern Hotel | 644 Rathdowne St, Carlton North
Guest Writer @karlz_thegreythound
Karla (or Karlz as she is known to her friends) is an almost 7-year-old sassy Greyt Greys adoptee. She is best known for her overbite, her extra winky-wonky front tooth, the loud chatters she does when life pleases her (sometimes) and the loud whines she does when life displeases her (often). She lives in inner-north Melbourne and is often found strolling the street or lounging at pubs, dressed in one of her many Houndtees. She likes pedicures, fashion, gelato, chips and snoozes. She is in an ethically non-monogamous marriage with her Mawife, and a situationship with handsome @lennytheladiesman.